Balancing Chaos | "Roach of Rebirth"

Balancing Chaos | "Roach of Rebirth" is a deeply powerful and poignant illustration that speaks to resilience, survival, and spiritual renewal. Created through the intricate lines of automatic drawing, the piece features a roach—an unlikely symbol of adaptability and strength. 

This creature becomes a visual metaphor for overcoming adversity, a theme that is deeply personal to the artist. Nicole's journey was shaped by her fight to break free from the generational trauma embedded in the divisions between African American and White communities, all fueled by white supremacy.

Growing up in an environment where she was ostracized by her own African American community due to the jealousy of her success, Nicole was forced to leave her home and live among adversaries in Vermont. In a place where opportunities for African Americans were limited by the nepotism of both affluent and poor whites, white entitlement, and the gatekeeping of opportunities by these whites, Nicole faced a harsh battle to survive and rise above.

 Although she met some African Americans during this time, they too did not offer support, trapped in their own divide-and-conquer mindset—a mindset they had yet to overcome. So, she was forced to overcome these struggles alone, with nowhere to turn but to God and to herself.

Her return to Greenville, New Jersey marked a turning point. With a newfound sense of confidence and an awareness of the behavior of others, Nicole realized that her inner confidence intimidated those around her. African Americans who were insecure, as well as Whites who saw her confidence as a threat, viewed her as competition to their existence. Her strength became a challenge to those who felt their own existence diminished in the face of hers. 

It was in this realization that Nicole found the key to her resilience—understanding that her struggles were not just personal and their problems were not of her own, but part of a larger, ongoing battle against the generational trauma of African Americans, perpetuated by white supremacy. Armed with this wisdom, she now works to empower other African Americans, urging them to shift from a divide-and-conquer mindset into a creator mindset that fosters collective success.

The Roach of Rebirth represents more than survival; it embodies the quiet persistence of life thriving in inhospitable conditions—a powerful metaphor in today’s world, especially in the wake of the Trump administration's divisiveness. Just as the roach adapts and continues to evolve, so too have African Americans, who have consistently been dehumanized and held back despite white efforts to place obstacles in their way. The piece invites African Americans to reflect on their own resilience, encouraging them to see challenges not as barriers, but as opportunities for growth and transformation.

In this drawing, the roach becomes a symbol of spiritual renewal, breaking the curse placed on African Americans by white supremacy—doubt, self-devaluation, and underestimation of their worth, which has kept them from seeing their true value. This is what Nicole refers to as the "gatekeeping of the subconscious mind." One must ask: why would they do this? The answer lies in a deeper truth: African Americans are, in fact, the Alphas in a world where survival of the fittest is the rule. The emotional manipulation and physical abuse used to control and subjugate such a strong people were strategies to ensure white survival.

This work serves as a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult the path, we have the strength to rise, adapt, and thrive. It celebrates the beauty of perseverance, inner strength, and the quiet but powerful process of rebirth, urging African Americans to turn their struggles into catalysts for growth. It’s time to transform that pain into power, to rise from the ashes just as Jesus once did—who was described as having hair like wool and feet of burnt brass—and reclaim the narrative that has been denied to African Americans for so long—40 acres and a car.